Growing up I was always told that if I don’t get married by the age of 25 it meant that I would never get married. So, I imagined myself married at 25 and having my first child at the age of 27, little did I know that the dating pool in 2021 would be filled with pee and deceit. I am two years away from the marriage deadline, I don’t have a venue in mind nor do I have a groom in sight. Is this a legitimate reason for panic?
Luckily, I have learned not to compare myself to others so I won’t. I however want a home, I want to marry young and birth young, like our parents did, However I don’t understand what we 90s kids are doing wrong, because finding a significant other feels like I’m searching for God’s remains, almost Impossible to locate.
I asked my close friends about the challenges they are currently undergoing in the dating pool and to my surprise we all had the same challenges. Have you noticed how men demand fast sex but want slow love? They will feed you with the idea that a potential relationship is definitely on the card but say things “Let’s see where this goes but don’t be entertaining them streets baby girl “they want access to your body without feeling tied down by you and this way no commitments need to take place he is indirectly placing you in a polygamous relationship one that wasn’t communicated. Now you find yourself competing for the affections of a man who claims to be yours but not really? Sound familiar?
Let me paint a picture for you quickly, let me introduce you to Ade, Ade is a 30-year-old man who drives the latest cars and has a personal shopper in Dubai (yeah girl I know what you thinking and yeah, he has a baby mamma, but the man is hot as fuck so what if he has a kid?). One thing you should keep in mind is that Ade is very much in demand, he has options…
Monday, he took the accountant girl out for dinner after work, (he loves a good number game). On Wednesday he had sushi with the lawyer girl whose parents owns farm in Hartees (we all know homeboy wants to secure the land but anyway, he said he loves her for her so let’s leave it at that lol) now it’s time for the weekend and we all know that’s reserved for the Instagram influencers, he can never resist a baddie. So trick question besides Ade what do you think these 3 women have in common?
The girls? They want “mjolo “a ring on the finger and from nobody else but our very own Mr. man Ade. What they don’t know is that they are in a polygamous relationship with a man who pretends to be their night and shining armor, their dazzling prince charming who is really…their kryptonite. Do still you want more context?
Again, picture 3 accomplished woman anticipating to swim the biggest race of their lives each without a clue that the medal awaiting them at the end of the race is the crushed hope of a none existence relationship and broken promises. Yeah, I think you get it now? So, moving right along, the thing that baffles me the most is how us woman are so content with bare minimum that we are even willing to compromise our values just to get our needs met. Why are we so willing to float about aimlessly in stagnant pools full of Ades?
Yes we want to start a family and yes we want a super hero as a father to our kids, we also want steamy sex in the shower or strictly being bent over a balcony while rain falls on our face, but at what cost? Are you really willing to sacrifice yourself and your dreams for a causal link up with Ade who only texts when his feeling lonely and probably has mediocre dick game?
Alright I know what you’re saying Ifeoma but sex is something we can work on I mean Ade is financially stable and capable of fending for our future family and I’m not about to leave my man for whack dick, but my dear I’m not saying leave him because of whack dick but because he made you an option and not a priority, why stay with a man that’s giving 30% of himself when God has a man that is willing to sacrifice 100% off himself for you, the problem with us woman is that we think we are out of options. We are not out of options we are out of faith or spirit of meeting great men instead we stay here and fall in love with potential and not reality. I wish women were as strict on their non negotiables the way men are. If only our 3 swimmers knew that there was an ocean available for them, they wouldn’t limit themselves to a dirty pool.
Reality is that Ade is not the only problem in this dating pool, but let’s have that chat in my next piece for now let’s focus on shirtless Ade at the end of the dirty pool who has no intentions of diving in, your “king” can’t even swim. Yet our beautiful sisters are risking their life in this pool for him? But that’s what happens sadly, hanging onto desperation like a life jacket can leave you gasping for air and unattainable love.
When Crumbs Taste Sweet..
“Why would you do that?” “Do what?” I asked. “Why would you make me believe there was a possibility of us? Why would you hold me like that, just to let me go as if I never mattered? Why would you let me taste your lips, only to grip my hand and pull away when…
After The Butterflies Take off..
Do you remember the exact moment the butterflies took off after the honeymoon phase? The moment reality tapped you on the shoulder and reminded you to touch grass. Or that moment your teacher asked you to solve an equation on the board while you were busy daydreaming in class, paying no attention to the lesson. That…
Two Truths Co-Existing.
“The truth is that I want you, and every fibre in my bones is pulled toward you like two magnets drawn across a table. I find myself gravitating toward you. I could listen to you speak for hours; your voice draws me closer to reason, like a compass pointing toward God’s heart. I feel safe…
BEYOND STOICISM : Illuminating Mens Emotional Odyssey
In the subtle echoes of a woman’s journey through her 30s, the insistent tick of her biological clock becomes undeniable. On the flip side, men nervously adjust their wrists, glancing down at their financial clocks. For men, the financial clock signifies the impending responsibilities and milestones tied to career and stability. With our declining fertility…
MAKING LOVE TO HIS EGO
By : _LIONESS01 Have you ever received orgasms from a mans unadulterated ego? Have you ever basked under its heat as you stroked it in different directions, only to discover something tragic was underneath? His ego exuded a captivating blend of sandalwood and oud, an enchanting melody of earthy notes that intertwined, leaving a trail…
Diving into the modern dating pool part 2 .
I want us to dive into the real problem in our dating pool, Marco, Polo, MARCO… We’ve all been a swimmer in this ocean some of us have been fortunate enough to make it to the shore, where a handsome man on his knees awaited us with a ruby diamond and then there are others who have found themselves trapped in a…
@_lioness01
HER PERCEPTION.🌱 